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| Too much free time = boredom
Too lazy to exercise. Too tired to play piano. Too blank to draw.
Outside is snowing but my brain must be melting...
For me...boredom does not inspire any entertaining ideas. Rather, it has more of a snowball like effect where the ennui grows larger and larger
I'd really like to call people and spend time with them, but I'm so soaked in boredom I'm afraid I would not know what to talk about or do and just bore them as well.
I don't remember winter breaks being this completely boring ever before...I feel as though I have nothing to look forward to..except next semester
At a loss...what to do with myself...
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| It seems the happier I am the more things I want
I want to eat a biiiiiig bowl shaved ice with lots of fruits...especially papaya
to play piano until I get sick
to know more Japanese
to have time to watch dramas all day
to read a good book
to paint something pretty
to know how to cook
to live with Jay
to know how charming he is in Chinese
to go on so many cute dates with him
to be better friends with the band people
to spend time with my family
to have another birdy
I like to think about the things I really want because it's exciting to think of these things coming true hahaha | | |
| Every time I spend time with them, I feel so super happy afterwards. I love them so much.
I keep saying it, but I'm so happy when I'm with everyone lately. I hope the Houston thing works out so we can spend even more time together! | | |
| I finally have a boyfriend who can sing all of "Welcome to Beijing" XDXDXD! | | |
| JA fall fest
after party
bulgogi burger with jay
buffalo exchange
UFO arcade
cheap Korean food with Jay, Jennifer, and Jimmy
the Union - pool and bowling
watching Edward Scissor Hands
KTV karaoke with Jay, Jennifer, and Jacky
So much fun! It felt so good after always freaking doing homework/work and all the stress. But now it seems I can't find the will to do anything....
JA Fall fest was disappointingly moved inside because of the rain...I'm sure it would have been loads better outside where food would be cooked closer to the performances, game booths would be set up, and people could walk around rather than just sit in there seats >:. Kinda sad that there was just like 50 (or less) people in the end...but they were so supportive and happy that the band performance was still fun :D. It was a lot more spontaneous than usual and at least everyone in the band and audience was more enthusiastic than at FSA (not like thats a difficult feat...). I need to work on my stage presence though...I'm so awkward on stage XD. I didn't tell anyone this, but for some reason I had a secret wish Benita would just show up...I don't know why I thought she would. I was really excited thinking I'd introduce her to all of the band and they'd love her and she'd get along with everyone really well. I felt kind of stupid after the fact and I'm not sure why I thought that would happen XD
At the after party I got drunk after only one and a half shots hahaha..everyone kept asking me "ARE YOU OK?" I guess because I got REALLY red...EVERYWHERE! XD. I wish when I was drunk my feet didn't turn on themselves so I could walk around more XD. Everyone was so worried about me the whole time though when it wasn't even that bad. Even in college people think of me as a little kid - always calling me cute and looking out for me. I kind of like it XD. Like when Megan wouldn't let anyone be lesbian on me and Vivian took me away to help me with my makeup XD. Aaron was getting a little too close to me @____@ but Quan was so cute! Falling over saying, "Christie!!! I'm so glad you're my singer! I love our band!!!" and telling Aaron "Stop taking advantage of my singer!" XDXDXD And Brian took good care of me too, carrying me to bed and making sure I drank water. I think he sat with me a lot of the time when I was sleeping and I felt a lot of people petting me AHAHAHA. I love our band! We have such good times together and everyone's such good friends :D~. At the end it was so scary though...Megan was super emotional and Quan was lying outside sprawled next to 3 huge piles of barf and moaning like he was going to die. It's always such a bad ending when people go over board >_______<
I think after that I decided I prefer Jay not to come with me to hang out at stuff like that. I can't imagine how miserable he'd feel and how off-standish we would seem X___X. I really do like hanging with him on our own...we laugh so much and he's always so sweet. We do a lot of dumb stuff like trying to climb up between two alley walls horizontally XD...and marking everywhere we go together with our Hello Kitty stamps :P. It's our love graffiti!
Yesterday was also the most successful day hanging out with Jay and other people though. So much fun! Except when Jimmy/Jacky came it was like Jennifer was paired with the odd guy out...Everyone wanted her! XD. It really is so nice though being able to hang out as a group of friends and everyone getting along. It was such a great mood - one that I haven't felt with a boyfriend in such a long time.
The whole time with Jacky, Jay and I kept thinking Jacky and Jennifer would be so good together. He loves tall skinny girls, and they're both really social and love to have fun. I could see them talking about the same things and wanting to do the same things...it was so funny. In the car Jay and I were like =__=? to all the radio music but Jacky and Jennifer knew all the lyrics and were dancing along XD *so compatible!* I really hoped they would somehow end up together, but when I saw on facebook how much Jennifer and Brian still care about each other I felt so bad. >:. I remember how scared Jennifer was when Brian got in the car accident, how much she still talks about him, and how she has that giant 6 foot poster of him in her room. Plus, Brian is such a nice guy. I felt like such a bitch >___<. What, because I ditched my boyfriend I think it'd be ok for Jennifer to do the same, just so we'd have a nice group dynamic? How stupid of me...I want to be more like Vivian. She's not clingy to Louis at all and if there's ever a moment I might feel awkward/lonely when other people are couples, she'll hold my hand. She's so sweet. Next time, I'll try to be like her for Jennifer. I can't imagine what she must feel like, missing her boyfriend who's so far away >:.
I really like Jennifer. I never realized how cute and sweet she is. And shes so thoughtful too. Even though we don't know each other too well she's willing to listen to my problems. (But I have to make sure I don't complain to her too much!!!) For some reason too, it's easier to get closer to people who knew about Benita and me. "The legend of Benita" took up like 12 years of my life and its so hard to explain it to anyone new that I meet. I feel like, when people don't know about Benita they don't know about a huge part of me. It's so weird. When I'm around Jennifer I keep telling stories about Benita and the stupid stuff Benita did XD. I guess I can't really help it. I haven't felt so comfortable around a girl friend since high school...like I haven't been able to act that certain way with anyone in a while - normal friends on an equal level (as opposed to being treated like a little girl) and we can make really dumb jokes together. And singing with Jennifer was SO MUCH FUUUUN!!! It was so cute doing "Love Love Love" and all these other Korean songs with her...and The Little Mermaid song! She's so cuteee! It's so nice also to be able to share high school memories together. I don't know. It feels really nice...I hope we can become good friends.
I looooooovee~ everybody! XD!!! Everyone's so nice and everything is so much fun! I want to snuggle with everyone AHHAAHa...I'm so glad to know the people I know. LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Can't wait for Thanksgiving break YAR! Three days!! :D:D:D
I really am happy with things now. It made me think about high school...and then I realized I don't remember very much about it. I can remember the events, but not the feelings. It's really hard to grasp. I must have a terrible memory...or I must be terrible at valuing people. I hope that I won't do the same things to the people I'm friends with now. I don't want to make them want to crop me out of pictures in the future...I don't want them to one day like the memory of me more than the person. I don't want to let them be more friends of just the past...I have too many. | | |
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